September 14, 2011

Q & A Lawyer Jokes


Q: What's wrong with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.



Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.



Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
A: You cry when you cut up an onion.



Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: A party.



Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
A: Your honor.



Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
A: Just say, "Fees!"



Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side and then on the other.



Q: What’s the difference between a shame and a pity?
A: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, that’s known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that’s a shame.



Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.



Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement?
A: Not enough cement.



Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?A: Skeet.


Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?A: Senator.


Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.



Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Chelsea Clinton



Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.


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