July 27, 2011

Pinoy Jokes

Husband and wife, making love...
wife : anselmohhh!!!, anselmooohhh!! ooohhhhhh!!! aaannssselllmoooh!!!
husband : (so shocked!) "tangina"!! sinong anselmo??!
wife : "gago" ang cellfone mo! nasa likod ko!



OLD MATRONA: : Sa palagay mo, mahal, ilang taon na ako?
D.I. : Kung titignan kita ng sideview, 18 ka lang; kung nakatalikod
16 lang; kung nakaharap 22 lang. Bale total ay 56 sweetheart.



Boyfriend want 2 have sex with his gF but ashamed of
his small organ, he decided to bring his GF in the
dark place. He open his zipper and put penis in Gf's
hand...
GF said; no thanks, i dont smoke...



Doctor: We should stop seeing each other nahahalata na ng mister mo!
Girl: But we love each other..!
Doctor: We're running out of excuses isa nalang ngipin mo!



Miss: Doc, meron po akong brownish discharge. Parang na- infect.
MD: Gaano kadalas ka mag-sex?
Miss: Once a year po.
MD: Ahh, hindi yan infection, KALAWANG YAN!!



CENSUS officer: Mrs, ilan bang anak nyo?
MRS: 14 po.
CENSUS: Ang dami naman! Di ba kayo gumagamit ng pill! s, condom, withdrawal o rhythm?
MRS: Hindi po, kwan lang po ng mister ko talaga!



Mental patient is singing while lying in his hospital bed. After a song, he turns face down to sing again.
NURSE: Bakit ka bumaliktad?
PATIENT: Side B na kasi eh.



WIFE: Doc, bakit lumalabas ang mga ugat sa bird ng mister ko?
DOC: Varicose veins yon!
WIFE: Anong cause nun?
DOC: Pareho din sa legs mo... pag laging nakatayo!!! 



Guro: Ano dapat gawin pag may lindol?
Boy: Buksan po ang ilaw!
Guro: Bakit?
Boy: Kasi po sa bahay kubo namin, madalas lumindol kapag gabi, pero pag-switch ko po ng ilaw, biglang tumitigil!!!










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