Arvin was very sick and had to be confined in the hospital. Thinking he was about to die he called his beautiful new wife to his bed...
Arvin: I feel very sick and in case anything happens to me, I feel it is best to tell you the whole truth my dearest wife.
He takes a long deep breath and proceeds with his confession... “I cheated on you in the 4 months we were married. All those nights when I said I had additional drawings to finish at work, I was actually with other women. Not just one woman either, I slept with Katy, Elaine, Kara and a whole bunch of them from work...
Bea (wife): Yes honey, I know..... why do you think I gave you that poison this morning?
Aling Dionisia: Inday akina yong seeds ko!
Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?
Aling Dionisia: Anong magtatanim na sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yong seeds!
Tonyo's wife just gave birth to triplets. He call his bestfriend Del to tell him the good news over the phone.
The phone line isn't clear so Del asks, "Tonyo! Can you repeat that?!"
Tonyo proudly answers "Yeah I can! But I don't think I can afford to have three more children!"
Anak: Dad, pwede na ba ako mag-bra?
Tatay: Hindi anak.
Anak: Eh Dad, yong mga friends ko naka bra na po sila.
Tatay: Hindi nga pwede eh!
Anak: Dad sige na please...?
Tatay: Tigilan mo na yang kaartehan mo ha. Sabi ko na sayo Jeff, hindi ka pwede mag-bra! Susuntokin na kita!